Back to the Blog- Topic of Interest: Motion Sensors

Wow! According to blogger, I haven't blogged since July. Sorry! It seems that I really just haven't had the time, motivation or inspiration to write as of late. However, that all changed today. As I was out on the road today ,traveling for my job, topics were literally swirling in my head. I think that was due in large part to the fact that I finally just surrendered all the things that I have been worrying or stressing about over to the Lord. That seemed to give my brain plenty of room to let the creative (or not so creative) juices flow. For those of you who know me, you know that I can be random. It should come as no surprise, then, that the first topic that I chose to start back to blogging with is just that- Random. My topic of interst: Motion Sensors.

Since my job requires me to travel all over the state, I have ample opportunities to visit multiple types of businesses (and quite a few bathrooms). Throughout my various stops, I have begun to notice a definite trend. As businesses are moving towards being more efficient and eco-friendly, I have seen a huge rise in the number of motion sensored everythings. You experience your first motion sensor when you walk through the door and it goes on from there. I am sure that their manufacturers have hailed the virtues of these amazing litte gadgets but, as with most things, they definitely have their downfalls. These are downfalls that I have either witnessed or experienced multiple times. Though these issues can definitely be a pain- they are also quite amusing. They are enumerated below.

1. The Doors: You've all seen them. They are at grocery stores and department stores everywhere. When they sense you coming in or out they open with a big "WOOF!" and let you in. Problem is, that is the limit to their brilliance. If you are standing just inside the door waiting for a ride or talking to a friend- they flap open and closed like confused windshield wipers. Then there is the occasion that they malfunction and it takes the weight of 5 grown men to get the behemoths to open. Then comes the human error side of these doors. You are at "those stores" that have specific entrance and exit doors. Instead of being able to just push the door and make you exit you have to go to the appropriately marked door. I don't know about you, but I don't know how many times I have spent more than a few seconds waiting to exit out an entrance door. You sit there looking at the door like it's an idiot while that title really belongs to you. When the realization finally hits, you are just happy that your beet red face is facing the outdoors as you hastily find your exit.
2. The Toilet: I know, I know- they use less water and are more sanitary. Thats what "they" say. Well, maybe they are not quite as educated as they might think. It can be quite the experience dealing with one of those little devils. You find your respective stall (that is always way too small) and take care of the business that you entered the restroom to do. All the while you are wondering, "How does it actually know that I am done?". As you prepare to leave the stall- "THE FLUSHING" happens. I don't know about you, but I am usualy on a race to get out of that stall before then. It usually happen fast enough and loud enough that you fear for a split second that it is actually going to suck you and the whole stall in with you. Its enough to scare a small child back into wearing diapers!
3. The Sink: I think this is the funniest thing to watch. You and your fellow restroom visitors are ready to wash your hands (while singing to the Happy Birthday song in your head to make sure you are properly sanitized). That is when the amusement begins! You start by simply running your hand under the soap dispenser. If it is like most, it rarely works the first time. You swing you hands back and forth, hoping to produce the correct motion that will magically make the soap appear. Finally, after multiple maneuvers, soap finally decides to grace you with its presence. Only problem is- it usually misses your hand the first time. (Or worse yet, its not even an automatice dispenser.) Eventually you do have the correct amount of bubble maker to suit your fancy- now it's on to the water. As with the soap, the first try never works. You end up enacting an abbreviated version of the Hokey Pokey to make it actually turn on. Evidently, these automated faucets don't know about the Happy Birthday rule because your Hokey Pokey dance gets three rounds before you get what it was all about. Heaven forbid that either one of these things are out of order. You could sit there for a full three minutes before realizing that your are spastically waving at a faucet. This is the point where the line between sanity and insanity is a mere diagnosis away!
4. The Paper Towel Dispenser: By the time you get to this machine, you are seriously wondering if someone might have filed a missing persons report while you have been enslaved to these automatic demons. Thank goodness, at least this machine has a little hand sign and red sensor light that shows where to wave. At this point you have sopping wet hands. You are probably doing some type of hand rotational motion as you walk across the room to make sure you don't leave a trail of drips. Then the silly thing is asking you to wave. I don't know about you, but I end up making some crippled looking motion in an attempt to not only avoid drippage but to not shake water like a dog onto the person behind me in the drip line. It spits out your allotted towel length and you a finally able to put an end to this silly saga. Of course, you have to make sure that grab an extra towel to open the door with. "Why?" you ask. Because most people gave up at the soap and headed straight out the door.

You want to know what the funniest thing about this whole process is? As soon as I finally exit that door to doom, I reach into my purse for a squirt of hand sanitizer. Figures! Obviously, I have overdramatized this quite a bit and I actually do appreciate the convenience of these motion sensored things. However, when you are on the road as much as I am, you tend to imagine a little too much life into ordinary things. What can I say? It keeps me entertained. I hope if brings a smile to you too :)