I have discovered a new pet peeve!!! I live in my Grandparents somewhat old rental house. That means I get to enjoy the perks of arched doorways, glass door knobs and wooden floors. On the down side, the cabinets in my kitchen have been continually popping open. This problem was initially solved when my Grandpa adjusted the magnets on the inside of the cabinets a little. Now, however, they have reverted to their old tricks! (Hence my title). When I close one cabinet, another will pop open whether I slam it or gently close it. I feel like I am playing a never ending game of cat and mouse. Especially in my current state of allergy-induced mental fog, it is a very irritating scenario. I find myself with a hand on one door with a foot on other door as I try to get them both to stay closed at the same time. Most of the time, I have to sit back and laugh at the humor of what I must look like. This humor does not diminish my frustration in the least. I am sure I will find some kind of solution to this dilemma. For now, I will just have to suffer through this cat and mouse game and be thankful in the mean time that I really don't have an actual mouse to worry about.
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For some reason, the topic of waiting has really been on my mind. It seems that it is the theme of my life for this season. Strangely, I have become quite content with waiting. I think that waiting used to really bother me because to me it was always synonymous with inactivity. I have found this to be completely untrue with my relationship with the Lord. When He is having me wait in one area, He is stretching and perfecting me in another. The song that is running through my head is the song "While I Wait" by John Waller. Here are some of the lyrics:
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
The things that I hope for, wait for are in the Lord's hands and on His time table. Sure it gets tough being patient sometimes, but I truly think that the best things in life are worth waiting for. The things that I hope for such as a family of my own, being debt-free, or pursuing further education can become quite the burden to carry if I am trying to make things happen on my own. Right now I am learning that I can rest in the Lord and trust that He knows what it best. I am slowly getting to the point where I want my desires to match His desires. (Even if it ends up requiring sacrifice.) The peace that comes from letting things go is so worth it. And while I'm waiting, I will worship....
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As you may know, I have been losing weight for about the last year. In continuing that effort, I have also begun to exercise. I am now in week five of exercise and my initial excitement is definitely beginning to wane. What started out as challenging and a little exciting has now become slightly mundane and boring (even though I have been adding on extra time). The first couple of weeks were great! I saw great results and that definitely motivated me to continue on. Now, however, watching and following the same people doing the same moves has lost its spark. I would rather go for a walk/jog in the park and come home for some good pilates stretching (which I will begin to do once the weather permits it). Much of my motivation to press on at this point is my own stubborn will. Last week I was a bit of a slacker partially because I had a bum shoulder and partially because of pure exhaustion. I am now back on track. Granted, this morning I woke up with a stomach ache, but I persevered and pushed through a 30 minute work out. I felt much better after that. I really am going somewhere with this!
As I sat on my couch this morning, contemplating these feelings, I was struck by how much this all actually relates to faith. We start beleiving for something and start to see immediate results as we begin to seek the Lord in prayer and in His Word and we become really excited about what we are seeing. Then, as we let our time in the Word and in prayer become mundane, we become apathetic and bored as we strive to continue in our pursuit. This is were a focus shift needs to happen. That is what hit me this morning. What am I really working out for? To be healthy? To look toned? To feel more energetic? Yes, yes and yes, but which goal is actually the one that will keep me going beyond the point that I feel I have reached my goals? The answer is definitely long-term health and the desire to keep that healthy life giving blood pumping through my veins. This doesn't happen by half-hearted pursuit. It is through the daily desire to do and give my best so that I may reach the highest goal.
In my faith, it is that desire to seek God, even when I am not always seeing evident results, that gets me through. To push through, even when I don't feel like it. It is when I take my eyes off of myself and focus on God that my joy and energy are renewed. Then, down the road, when I take a look back, I can see the progess that God has wrought in me. The changes that He has made. The weight that He has removed and replaced with strength. God is so faithful!!!
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Heb 11:1
Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and for doing a work in me that you will complete unto life eternal! I love you Jesus! Amen
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As I sit here behind my desk, thoughts shoot through my mind of what to write. My life seems so complex yet so simple all at the same time. Should I write of how I simply CAN NOT find a blog background that will work? Of what God is doing in my life? How work is going? - Then I realize that all of these things are kinda the point of this blog. To talk about my life, which is never cookie cutter or just one thing to deal with at once. How things are going with my job is inseparable from my relationship with God. And how finding the right blog background is mainly due to the fact that I love for things to coordinate perfectly and be pretty. Thats not exactly how life is, is it? Beauty and perfection are usually found in those things that you had absolutely nothing to do with. Go figure! God in His perfect order knows how to do things best and bless me the most. Its best when I keep my hands out of it and let Him keep control. Don't get me wrong - I WILL find a blog background - but in the scope of things it really isn't all that important :) Well thats it for my first attempt at this thing called blogging. I really need to get a few proposals written, make a zillion phone calls.......you get the idea : P
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